Derek Erdman | Artist, Illustrator & $7 Rapper (Maybe)

Derek Erdman. Don't know too much about him except that he exhibit's at NYC's Canada gallery (which is impressive) and has a killer website. Besides making art he offers a bunch of services. We'll talk about them here.

1. If you send him $15 and email him a photo then he'll digitally draw your portrait. An example of which is shown below.

 

2. For $7 he's willing to give somebody who's done you wrong a vigilante rap phone call.  The rapper is Rap Master Mourice (which may or may not be him). Rap Master Mourice & his terms of service are listed below.

 

RAP MASTER MAURICE PRESENTS:
$7 VIGILANTE RAP PHONE CALLS

BAD CUSTOMER SERVICE?
TERRIBLE MEAL AT A RESTAURANT?
TIRED OF A WORN OUT RELATIONSHIP?
WAYWARD RELATIVE OWES YOU MONEY?
UNABLE TO BE PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE?
MAURICE IS ON THE JOB!

Rap Master Maurice is willing to VIGILANTE MIND BATTLE RAP CALL
anybody who has done you wrong. Simply PayPal $7 and give a brief explanation of
the trouble and you're EVEN STEPHEN. Do it now because soon it will
cost $10 and you will say to yourself, "I SHOULD HAVE DONE IT WHEN IT WAS $7".

Your $7 payment includes justice, peace of mind and a medium
quality MP3 file emailed to you in a timely manner!

RAP MASTER MAURICE will rap about ANYTHING, even gross stuff!
There are no bounds to justice. SERIOUSLY:

CHILD CUSTODY BATTLE?
PAROLE OFFICER GOT YOU DOWN?
FATHER LEFT YOU AT AN EARLY AGE?
MAD AT THE TALIBAN?

Supply the telephone number and the info, THE RAP IS MADE.

NOTICE: The price of non-revenge "friendly" raps has doubled
to $14. Maurice is a revenge rapper but will don the hat of
friendly rapper for an extra $7.

BECOME A FAN OF RAP MASTER MAURICE on Facebook! Or exercise free will
and don't. It's your life, champ.

3. For the low price of $14.98 he will send you a hamburger through the mail in an anonymous package. More info below:

 

 

4. For absolutely know cost. That means free. He'll give you advice.

 

ADVICE MASTERS is an absolutely free advice service that caters to all people in any sort of situation imaginable. If you need help sorting out a financial matter or if you're having trouble in a relationship, we're here to guide you towards a solution. If you're dealing with the death of a loved one or perhaps you just would like somebody to talk to, we're always available. Perhaps you've recently lost your job or a friend has turned their back to you for no apparent reason, we're in your corner. There's a chance that your dilemma is more practical in nature, such as gardening or fishing tips or you need a good banana bread recipe. You should consider ADVICE MASTERS a friend, a family member, an encyclopedia and the internet. We consider no subject taboo. We're not quite omniscient but we like to think that we're pert-near!

Each of our staff is trained in conflict resolution and each holds a certificate in Expert Advice Giving. No problem is too big or too small and a staff member is on duty 24 hours a day 7 days a week every day of the year.

If you're interested in anonymity we suggest pressing *67 before dialing. We promise partial discretion with every call, you can remain anonymous or tell us as much as you want about yourself. In fact, you don't even have to have a question; you can simply get some things off of your chest and hang up. Additionally if you simply want to call and hang up when we answer, there's nothing wrong with that, either.

"This phone call was a success." Kristen Smith, Durango CO

 

5. He sells his paintings, which are nicely priced and probably worth collecting

  

  

  

  

Categories: art, Artists, Illustrators